Of Penguins and Puffins
by TheDarkMaiden 27
Summary: CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN BECAUSE I AM SOOO NOT HAPPY AS TO HOW IT TURNED OUT, RE-LOOKING AT IT.
1. Chapter 1

Skipper groaned as he turned over in his bunk. Kowalski had come back that evening with the monthly update of Alice's e-mail info and he'd found out that the Hoboken Zoo had closed from an e-mail asking if they could home a few animals. He briefly flitted through the inhabitants in his mind. "Lulu, whatever, she's not actually evil and Phil had taken a liking to her. Savio, ok, he's very evil, but we can organize something for him to be re-shipped away, and the same goes for Rhonda and Clemson." The real reason his mind was panicking was because of the last animal. "The puffin." Skipper hissed, curling up tighter in his bed. He wasn't sure if he could be able to contain himself after that Denmark incident...He just had to hope they wouldn't ship him here.

"I'm not sure if we can exactly be considered friends here, but I'll miss you all anyways." Clemson sniffed from his cage. "Thanks, Clemson. Who knows, maybe someone will end up in the same zoo as another?" Lulu tried to lift the spirits, but not exactly succeeding. Hans was anxious. He could see the zookeeper arrive with their forms. "Bronx Zoo. Hmm...I've heard many rodents live there." Savio commented with a grin as he read his form. "YAY! I'm going to Central Park! That's where Phil is!" Lulu exclaimed reading hers. "No places free? Shipment back to Madagascar?" Clemson read, shocked, but suddenly grinned wildly. "YES! I'M FREE!" He bounced up and down happily, while waiting to hear where the rest of his "friends" went. "I'm going to Bronx too, but the aquarium! See ya there, snake!" Rhonda smiled, looking at Savio. Hans looked around, panicked. Everyone seemed happy with their destinations, but he had a feeling he'd be sent to the worst one yet; at least, for him. "Oh no...Oh no no no no NO!" Hans stumbled back into the cage as he looked at his own leaflet. "Wazzup, Hans? Sent to the puffin sausage factory?" Lulu joked, waiting for his answer. "No, no, no...I'm going to...Central Park too." He looked around, horrified, to see the others' puzzled faces. "What's the problem, dude? You even get to stick around with Lulu here!" Rhonda asked, confused. "The problem is not _where_ I'm going to...It's who lives there."

"Talk to me Kowalski." Skipper ordered, pointing at the crate in front of them. "Well, it appears it comes from...Hoboken." Kowalski hid behind his clipboard, waiting for the explosion. Instead, Skipper stood frozen to the ground in shock. Trying to keep alive a last glimmer of hope, he continued. "And what animal is in there?" He asked meekly. "Hans the Puffin, yours truly." Hans announced, kicking down the front of the crate. "Hans!" Skipper exclaimed, falling into battle stance. "Skipper..." Taking out a mackerel, Skipper did the same, sparring until Kowalski cleared his throat loudly. "Ermh...yeah. Can we, like, try to _avoid_ rivalry?" He suggested, one eyebrow raised. "Put a stone on it! Forgive and forget!" Private skipped in between them, smiling dandily. "I know where _I'd_ like to shove a stone…" Skipper hissed. Ignoring Skipper, Hans turned to Private. "Who's the sugar puff?" Hans asked, puzzled, pointing at Private. Last time he'd seen Skipper they had only been in three. "None of your business." Skipper snarled, pushing Private behind his back protectively. "Oh, ok, act like an overprotective parent..." Hans sighed, lifting his flippers in defeat, but knowing he'd pushed just the right buttons to make Skipper fume. "Grrrrrrr..." Kowalski stepped between them. "Why don't we go inside and try to relax, shall we?" He proposed, with a fake grin on his face. "What? Are you suggesting we bring _Hans the Puffin_, my arch-enemy since I was a _hatchling_, into our _secret HQ_, Lieutenant?!" Skipper asked, voice full of disbelief. "No reason to act so distrustful..." Hans muttered. "No...Reason, Hans? DID YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN DENMARK ALREADY?! I THOUGHT I HIT YOUR HEAD HARD ENOUGH ON THAT DYNAMITE BARREL TO SCAR YOU FOR LIFE!" Skipper exploded, shoving Private into the base and following suit. "BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY!" He continued his tantrum from below, slamming the bowl shut behind him. "Excuse him, it's just..." Kowalski sighed, exasperated. "No, I understand. It's... difficult. I'll just stay out here." Hans sighed and sat down. In a small corner of his heart, he _wanted_ the penguin's forgiveness. He watched Kowalski and Rico head back in glumly, and the fishbowl was just about to close when he jumped up as another crate slammed down next to him. Kowalski poked his head back up and disappeared inside to call the others. They watched intently as Alice walked back out of the habitat on a plank. Hans cautiously approached the crate, oblivious of the fact of the penguins observing him. Their attention was drawn back to Alice, who was speaking into a walkie-talkie. "Yes, the female puffin just arrived, and thank God she did. You know how male puffins get if they don't have at least one female around. I wonder how he coped back in Hoboken..." The four penguins stared on, slack-jawed, as Alice shut off the device and walked away. "Ermh...Hello?" Hans tentatively called out, not having heard what Alice had said. Kowalski sighed. "Hans does _not_ know what he's getting into. By nature, female puffins are very-" Kowalski was interrupted as the crate lid flew off and a female puffin pinned Hans to the ground, hissing. "...Aggressive." He finished meekly. "Who are you?" She snarled, hostile. "Not someone with bad intentions, let's put it that way…" Hans cowered a little. "What is this place?" She questioned, getting up and looking around. "You mean, you've never seen a zoo?" Hans asked, incredulous. "Why? Should I have?" The female puffin quietened down, confused. "So you were not born in captivity?" Hans asked, more like a statement though. "I don't know what you mean. All I know is that I'd injured my wing and was sitting on my cliff top peacefully tending to it when this human caged me and started blabbering about "Protection" and "Zoo"." Hans thought for a second before answering. "They thought you needed help because you were injured, so they captured you and put you here, where you'll be taken care of. They'd thought that you'd have died out there because of that injury." He briefly explained, pointing at her bandaged wing. "Oh. So I'm living here now?" She asked, taking in her surroundings once again. Meanwhile, Hans was taking in _her_. She was about as tall as him, obviously curvier, her beak a bit smaller, maybe feathers a bit sleeker, but other than that no big difference. He froze, looking at her head again. She had _hair_. A neat cut, short and about the same colour as her beak (I mean the orange part). Her eyes were a very dark aquamarine. The penguins facepalmed as they saw Hans turn all buttery. "Ermh. ERMH." Skipper cleared his throat loudly as he and his team jumped out of the hatch. "Intruders!" The puffin yelled, quickly knocking them all out cold. "Wha-wha-wha..." Hans stuttered, seeing the team defeated in a couple of mere seconds. "What, you knew them? Oops. Sorry, instincts." The female ducked her head, a little embarrassed. "Where...Where did you learn all that?" Hans asked, shocked. "I just learned to defend myself, that's all." The puffin shrugged, considering it totally normal to have just defeated a whole commando team with _Skipper_ at its head in a couple of deft moves. "You know, I still don't know your name." Hans observed, tilting his head to the side. "Nives." She stated. "What's _your_ name?" She asked, curious. "Hans." He replied, a small smile on his face. "Well, nice meeting you, Hans." She stepped forwards and nuzzled his beak with hers. Hans froze for a second, but then memories of his childhood came back slowly and he remembered that was how puffins usually greeted each other (I don't care if it's not true but it's to set a base on the romance!). "I am becoming too human..." He thought crossly, nuzzling back affectionately. "Did we...Did we interrupt something?" Kowalski's awkward voice piped up. Springing away, Hans blushed, but Nives stood her ground, puzzled. "Ermh...No, you see, that's just how puffins greet each other, like you would wave, or hug if it's a close friend." Hans explained awkwardly, blushing violently. "What's the big deal?" Nives asked, thoroughly puzzled. "Well, in almost all other animals, including penguins, nuzzling each other with beaks or muzzles or whatever you have is considered to be done only between mates..." Hans explained further, even more embarrassed. "Oh. I see." Nives stated, colour rising up in her face. The six birds just stood there, awkward. "Well...Shall we go indoors? I've got tea ready!" Private suggested, trying to lighten up the mood a bit. Skipper didn't protest but filed in after the three penguins and two puffins.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is exactly what you can call pointless crack smut. What can I say? The rating _is_ M... No flames. Sorry for the long wait, to be honest I couldn't find the latest version of the file anymore... YES, MY COMPUTER IS COMPLETELY MESSED UP. Problems?

"So you're Spanish?" Private asked, interested, as the six sat around the table drinking tea with some biscuits. "Yes, born, raised, lived there all my life, until..." Private gulped as he realized she was homesick. "Well... Here is really nice too! You'll find lots of friends, maybe something else..." He added in a rare spurt of mischief, eyeing Hans. "What? No!" Hans exclaimed, while Nevis blushed intensely while shaking her head vigorously. Everyone sat there in silence when Kowalski came up with a distraction. "Oh, look at the time! We should call lights-out, Skipper." He suggested. Skipper caught his drift and nodded. "Ma'am, you can have my bunk for tonight. I'll sleep in the lab with Hans. I need to keep an eye on him." Skipper added the last bit menacingly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Hans. "Thank you, Skipper." Nives got up and she and the three penguins jumped into the bunks. "There's a couple of spare beds here." Skipper explained, opening a cupboard and pulling out two small beds, pulling the legs up from where they were folded and securing them. "I'd be tempted to tie you up, puffin, but I'm feeling generous tonight." Skipper stated harshly. Hans decided to play dirty. "Oh, not like that night back in Copenhagen?" He asked suavely, one eyebrow raised. Skipper turned around, eyes wide. He had _not_ expected that. "What?" He asked meekly, although he knew what he was talking about. "Don't tell me you don't remember, Skipper..." Hans looked at him with a devilish smile. "That was a mistake!" Skipper tried to counter. "A very passionate one..." Hans replied smoothly, circling Skipper. Skipper found himself struggling to keep focused. That night had been wrong, and they both knew it. He'd tied Hans up and he was ready to be shipped off to the Commando HQ, but he'd talked him into...He didn't dare think about it...And then had taken advantage of him to escape. "You were the one who caused it!" Skipper growled. "I talked you into it. _You_ gave in." Hans corrected, poking him in the chest. "Like now?" Skipper lost all sense of control and, grabbing Hans, pulled him flush to him, their beaks locked in a rough kiss. Hans pushed him up against the wall, keeping him still. They both knew what the other wanted and Hans didn't waste time in slamming himself inside of him, earning a delicious moan from the penguin. (Yes. I felt like doing Skipper as being the submissive one. Problems?) They started breathing more heavily as the friction between them increased, moaning out each other's names. They didn't bother about the noise; the thick, iron door wouldn't let anything worth waking the others up through. They came at the same time, shuddering as their climaxes ripped through them. Their minds catching up to what their bodies had just done, they blushed, embarrassed. Skipper freed Hans from his grip as Hans slid out of him. "That was...That was wrong." Skipper finally mumbled, looking down. "We threw "Learn from experience" out of the window with that." Hans tried to lighten up the mood a little, but the remorse was weighing on them both heavily. "Hans, don't get me wrong, but there was nothing behind that." Skipper tried to explain. "I know, Skipper. It started out as an argument but then we got carried away." Hans murmured, feeling guilty he'd let himself be swayed so much by the penguin. "Let's just forget about this. We start off new, as...friends?" Skipper suggested. "Gladly." Hans was about to nuzzle him but froze and smiled apologetically. "Sorry. My habit." He hugged him instead. It did feel kinda like an oxymoron calling an animal you just mated with a friend, but that was beyond the point. Skipper smiled and slid out from him, heading over to his bunk. They both settled down, sleepy and exhausted from their previous... Interactions. "G'night." Skipper called out as he fell asleep. "Goodnight." Hans fell asleep peacefully. An event from his past had finally been cleared up, and he was glad that the penguin had finally forgiven him too.


	3. Chapter 3

Kowalski looked across the table from the puffin to the penguin. Their attitude had changed, and Skipper treated Hans just like he would treat any of his men. His intelligent brain had worked out that _something_ had happened yesterday night, but all of his theories were, frankly, impossible or very,_ very_ perverted. "Well, they could've been abducted by aliens and brainwashed..." He thought, but shook his head. "They mated, understood each other, and reconciled? NO! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, KOWALSKI!?" He shuddered at the image of his commander and the puffin...Ugh (Ha. The irony, that's actually what happened). And plus, it was the whole of breakfast that Hans had been staring at Nives dreamily. One of his machines beeped and he hurried over, realizing it was the hacking system he'd implanted in Alice's computer on his last visit. "Skipper, good news. Alice called Gus and he's currently working on a puffin habitat." Kowalski briefly explained. "Well, I guess it _was_ getting a little crowded in here..." Skipper observed, smiling. He didn't mind that Hans was going to be moved next door. And moreover, it would give him a chance to spend some time with Nives _alone_. He could see love blooming around them, well, actually _him_, but he smiled nonetheless. "Boys...And girl...I have an idea."

After a whole lot of digging, they'd managed to build another secret escape tunnel, but this one connected the penguin habitat to...Well, for now to nowhere, as Gus would find it if they went too far, but soon it would lead right up to Hans' and Nives' home. Kowalski sighed as he saw Private holding a basket with bows in it, sticking one on the cave wall every so often merrily. "Pri-_vate_..." He started. "What? This place is gloomy down here. A few decorations would do no harm." Private countered. "He's got a point, Lieutenant." Skipper conceded, chuckling. "Give him permission to stick up a few bows and soon the whole tunnel will be covered with them." He grumbled mostly to himself.

Skipper was glad at how well Hans and Nives were fitting in. Nives was taking a particular interest to Kowalski's inventions, and more than once found mistakes in his equations: one would've caused another ice age, the other world annihilation and the third New York would've been vanquished as if a nuclear bomb fell in the middle of it. Skipper pondered the last thought. Was she interested in Kowalski's inventions or...Simply Kowalski? It hurt, as he could see Hans had completely fallen for her, but she _did_ spend the entire day in the lab locked up with Kowalski as he once did alone. More than once Hans had grown suspicious of the silence but the lab was completely locked down. "Hans? Can I talk to you for a second?" Skipper motioned for Hans to go topside, leaving Private and Rico look up confused from their card game. "Hans, I know you like Nives, and I know it's diffi-" Hans clung to Skipper tightly and started sobbing. "Difficult? I hardly see her all day because she's locked up alone in a soundless laboratory with Kowalski doing Hell knows what!" Skipper saw his point, but it wasn't certain. "Maybe they're just working..." He protested meekly. "Or maybe not? This is just hopeless..." Hans started crying again. "Well, on the bright side, when you'll be moved to your proper exhibit _you'll_ have some alone time with her..."

-2 WEEKS LATER-

"Ok, maybe I should take that back." Skipper stood next to Hans at the top of his new habitat as they watched Nives disappear into the tunnel early in the morning, off to Kowalski's lab. "_You think?_" The puffin remarked sarcastically. "I'll try and talk peacefully to Kowalski. Come on, let's go."

"KOWASLKI! I'M COUNTING TO THREE! OPEN THE _GODDAMN DOOR_!" Skipper yelled (Yeah, goodbye "Peacefully") while standing in front of the lab. Seeing no response arrive, the leader fumed. The lab was only soundproof on the inside. He suspected he could hear every word of what he was saying. Losing his patience, he turned to Rico. "Rico, we do it the old way." Hacking up a cutting knife with a maniacal laugh, he took out the keyhole and kicked the door down. The sight that greeted him, Hans and the other two penguins was, frankly, disturbing. Kowalski was blocking Nives up against the wall and the two were making out passionately. "I knew it!" Hans hissed, feeling himself tear up, and ran out. Skipper, on the other side, barely noticed. "KOWALSKI! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" He shouted. He frowned, puzzled, when the two just continued kissing. "CAN YOU HEAR ME?" He yelled. "I guess not..." He muttered when the penguin didn't move. Losing his patience, he slapped him and made him fly across the room. "Ski-Skipper..." Kowalski stuttered when he sat back up after hitting the back wall. He could see Skipper rant and rave wildly in front of him, but he stopped him. "Wait, Skipper." He took out his ear plugs, some special ones he invented which blocked noise out completely. "Wait...You had ear plugs on?" Skipper was confused. "Yes, so did Nives. We were testing out a high frequency resonator (Whatever that is) so we put them in." Skipper, on the other side, was still fuming. "And what did you do_ after_ that?" He asked icily. Seeing Kowalski freeze and blush, he started yelling. "YOU BROKE HANS' HEART AFTERWARDS, THAT'S WHAT YOU DID!" Skipper was seething. If they really wanted to have a relationship, he couldn't stop them, but at least they could've _told_ the poor puffin, and not make him pain every time he saw the locked door. But most importantly, TO NOT MAKE HIM DISCOVER IT LIKE THIS. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHO KICKED DOWN THE DOOR!" Kowalski countered. "WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO CLOSED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Skipper shot back. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO QUESTION MY RELATIONSHIPS!" Kowalski shouted at him. "I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T BE WITH NIVES, I'M SAYING YOU COULD'VE TOLD THE POOR PUFFIN IN A WAY WHICH WOULDN'T HAVE CRUSHED HIM TO BITS! Too much..." Skipper added at the end, knowing it was going to happen, a lot or a little, in every path they could've chosen. "BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE HIM FIND OUT!" Kowalski replied angrily. "YES, I KICKED DOWN THE GODDAMN DOOR, BUT BECAUSE HANS WAS BECOMING A LIVING WRECK TO SEE YOU TWO LOCKED UP TOGETHER ALL DAY ALONE! AND HE WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICIOUS!" Skipper was losing his patience.

Hans ran away. He ran away from the team, from Nives, from everything. He was blinded by tears and didn't see the brown figure he crashed into while rounding a corner. "Hey! Be more caref-" Marlene stopped when she saw the pitiful state the puffin was in. "Omigosh! What happened to you?" She helped the puffin up and looked at him curiously. "Nothing..." The puffin tried to lie meekly. "You are _not_ ok. Come on, let's go." Marlene dragged the puffin away to her habitat.

-15 MINUTES LATER-

"...And then, Skipper kicked down the door and we all saw them making out, so then I just ran out." Marlene had swathed the puffin in a few dozen blankets for some sort of reason and had made tea, plus she'd opened a little box of chocolate crumpets. The puffin looked down, sullen, as he started crying again a little. "That's so sad...But I'm sure Skipper's giving him a piece of his mind by now...look." Marlene opened a box that was hidden underneath her cushion and took out a small screen and a remote. Pressing a button, the screen lit up and a view of the HQ showed. Moving a joystick, the camera moved forwards until it poked around the corner of the lab. Sure enough, Skipper was yelling his head off at Kowalski. "It's a nanite Kowalski built for me, although I don't think he knows I implanted it in their HQ." Marlene explained with a grin, still looking at the scene. "Is there volume?" Hans asked. "Sure." Turning a knob on the screen sound slowly came on. "YES, I KICKED DOWN THE GODDAMN DOOR, BUT BECAUSE HANS WAS BECOMING A LIVING WRECK TO SEE YOU TWO LOCKED UP TOGETHER ALL DAY ALONE! AND HE WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICIOUS!" Hans smiled a little. His chum was fighting well for him. A sudden thought arose. "Why would you implant the nanite in their HQ?" Hans asked curiously, looking at Marlene. "...Just, to see?" Marlene thought that was the worst excuse she'd come up with yet in her whole lifetime. "See what?" Hans pressed, smiling devilishly. "See who..." Marlene corrected him with a sigh, but her eyes snapped wide as she realized she'd said that aloud. "Who, exactly?" Hans pushed further. "Ermh...Oh fine. Skipper." Hans smirked, although it was mostly because he imagined her face if she knew he'd mated with him just yesterday. "Well, I know Skipper is available for sure...and he does get a little embarrassed whenever someone brings up your name..." Hans grinned seeing Marlene blush. "Oh. OH. Maybe I should go talk to him..." Marlene was feeling a little nervous. "You should! It's a perfect time now as he could do with some support after that gigantic fight with Kowalski and you can slowly bring up "the" subject." Hans suggested. "Ok, but can _you_ go call him, please, or the others will all know." Hans sighed. "Fine. Let's go." Marlene waited in the puffin habitat when Hans poked his head inside. Nobody was in the actual HQ. Hopping down, he slowly looked around the corner to the lab. Private, Rico and Nevis were watching intently as Skipper shouted at Kowalski in some sort of bubble, probably soundproof. He tried to think about something he could do to catch Skipper's attention only. Picking up a small tube, he rolled up a tiny piece of paper and blew into the tube, effectively shooting the piece of paper like a dart gun. Skipper looked around, confused, and saw Hans motioning for him to follow him at the door, but shot away before the others could see him. "Kowalski, we will continue this later. My throat is getting hoarse." Skipper popped the bubble with a flipper and ran up the ladder before anyone could question anything.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: And here goes the Skilene...

"I'm sorry about earlier, Hans..." Skipper started. "No no, it's ok, I'm getting over it, but there's someone who would like to talk to you." Pulling him towards the puffin habitat, he opened the door to his cave. "Trust me pal, I'm doing this for you." Hans grinned before throwing him in and locking the door behind him. He'd already secured the fifteen escape tunnels Skipper had insisted they build into his habitat, plus the one which connected the exhibit to the penguin HQ. "What?! YOU DEMENTED DANE, LET ME OUT!" Skipper banged on the door, but was stopped by a familiar voice. "Marlene? He caught you too?" Skipper turned around to face the otter. He was already starting to heat up at the thought of being locked up alone with Marlene. "No no, I asked him to bring you here." Marlene explained, shaking her head in the very dim lighting, thankful it hid her very evident blush. "You're plotting with the Dane?!" Skipper exclaimed, backing away. Marlene gave him a dull expression. "I just wanted to talk to you, Skipper. In private." Skipper slowly took a step forwards. "Oh, ok. So, what did you want to talk about?" Marlene took a deep breath and just decided to say this straight out. "Skipper, do you love me?" Skipper froze. That was something he'd totally _not_ expected. "Well, in the sense of friends or-"

"Skipper." Marlene looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Marlene, I...I...Yes." Skipper looked down, very uneasy. Now she could make him or break him. He fell to the floor with a gasp as something tackled him. He looked up into Marlene's beautiful brown eyes, filled with nothing but pure love. She kissed him passionately, the two embracing tightly on the floor. "It's 160 episodes I've been waiting to hear that (Breaking the fourth wall* here, Marlene!)..." Marlene murmured, holding him close. Hans was waiting outside the door to know when to let them out, but when he heard the first moan of pleasure he sighed, sitting down. "This is going to be long and mind-scarring..." He thought, picturing the two doing it in _his _(And I guess Nives')house. Ugh. He'd sleep outside for a month, who cares if Nives would consider that strange. Nives. His mind lingered a little longer on the beautiful puffin, but he shook his head angrily. "She's totally into Kowalski..." He thought sadly, trying to block out the "noises" from the other side of the door.

Hans sat down on top of his artificial cliff, staring at the snow falling. It reminded him so much of Nives… "Hans?" A soft voice rang out. Nives sat down next to him, turning to face the puffin. The puffin remained silent, trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest. After a few minutes of silence, Hans stiffened as he felt Nives tentatively rest her head on his shoulder, her flippers wrapping around his neck. "I'm so sorry for before… I'm not really into Kowalski, and neither is he into me. It was for the sake of the moment…" She whispered. Hans simply rested his own head on top of hers, a flipper softly tightening around her waist. He was relieved, but he still felt empty. She was so close, but so distant...

***Breaking the Fourth Wall: Characters in a series recognizing that they are ****_in_**** a TV program, movie, film or whatever, i.e.: "What in the name of returning guest characters!", as Skipper says in The Hoboken Surprise. Guest characters only appear in TV, I don't think we would use that as an exclamation, as guest characters are, well, characters, and we're real. Or are we (I suggest under the sofa as a good spot to check for cameras to know if you're in a TV program...)?**


	5. Chapter 5

Hans noticed with relief that Nives had stopped going to Kowalski's lab all day, every day, except for a few rare exceptions in which they left the door open anyways. Skipper still seemed a little hostile towards Kowalski, but Marlene was always there to calm him down. He was staring off into space again, sitting in the middle of a snow drift on top of his habitat. He suddenly got pushed forwards and landed face-flat in the snow. "Snowballs…" Hans muttered, irritated, thinking it'd probably been King Julien or something, but turned around to see Nives rolling around laughing in the snow. "Wha-You!" He exclaimed, scooping up some snow himself and catching her in the face. The snow battle continued for more than an hour until after a particularly big snowball Hans was chasing Nives around in fake rage. Tripping, though, he stumbled and landed on top of her, sending both rolling over the edge and into the very high snow beneath them. After being buried in the snow, they opened their eyes and blushed furiously as they saw just how close they were, one's flippers wrapped around the other. Trying to push upwards, Nives noticed the snow wouldn't budge. "Errr…What now?" She asked cautiously. "I guess we wait." Hans replied, just a little worried. Nodding, Nives rested her head on his chest, getting more comfortable. Trying hard not to faint, Hans still felt colour rise up in his cheeks as Nives snuggled up against him. After what was probably an hour, Hans started to feel dangerously cold. "Nives?" he asked. "What?" Raising her head slightly, she looked at him curiously. "Lemme try something." Holding her tightly, he started rocking back and forth, slowly crushing the snow next to them. "What are you _doing_?" Nives exclaimed as he suddenly lost his balance and they toppled over as he rolled on top of her. "Errr…The aim was to make more space so we could move and dig upwards, but it didn't come out so well…" Hans trailed off embarrassedly. Nevis giggled slightly, making Hans blush. Looking into her beautiful eyes, he felt a sudden feeling flare up inside of him and edged forwards cautiously. With Nives making no move to stop him, he was mere millimetres from her beak when he suddenly felt a great deal of the weight on his back being lifted. "What the-?" Skipper exclaimed, seeing the compromising position the two were in. "Were you two greeting again?" Private asked naïvely, followed by a faceflipper from Kowalski and Rico. "Ahi ahi ahi…" Rico muttered. Scrambling up, Hans never felt more embarrassed in his entire life. "It-It was an accident, Skipper…" He tried to explain, Nives shaking herself and joining him up. "Boys, maybe we should…go." Skipper stated, back flipping out of the habitat, with the others following. "I'll…See you later." Nives murmured, heading off to Marlene's. Banging his head on a wall, Hans felt incredibly frustrated. He'd been _this much_ from kissing Nives and now he wasn't sure he could ever face her again. Not that he was blaming the penguins, they were just trying to help, but still…

"Hans, I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were about to…" Skipper trailed off, patting the puffin on his shoulder comfortingly. "It's ok Skipper, you had no idea…" Hans tried to make him feel better. No point in _both_ of them feeling bad about themselves. Only himself was already enough… "So, how's it with Nives?" Skipper asked. Hans sighed, saddened. "She doesn't talk to me, I don't talk to her. We try to avoid each other." He explained, defeated. "That's not how you treat a lady! Face her, man!" Skipper exclaimed, pulling him up to a standing position next to him. "Easy for you to say, _I_ had to shove you into a locked room with Marlene…" Skipper felt illuminated. "Then maybe _that's _what we should do!" He decided, determined. "Skipper, this is _so _not a good idea…" Hans muttered, letting himself be dragged along by Skipper towards their HQ. "Private, work with the atmosphere. You're good with that sort of stuff." Skipper remarked, pointing at the puffin habitat. Nodding and pulling Rico along for supplies, Private skipped off happily. "Kowalski, errr, monitor everything. We'll turn the cameras off once they're both in." Skipper pointed at some machinery. "Well I'd _hope_ you do!" Hans butted in scathingly. "I'll call the lady herself…I'll say I wanted to see Marlene." Skipper improvised. "Yeah, _see_…" Kowalski grinned. He and his leader were getting on surprisingly well after the "incident". "Lieutenant!" Skipper exclaimed, blushing madly. "Hans, go wait in your habitat." Skipper motioned for Hans to move along just as Private and Rico were emerging. Stepping inside, he thankfully saw they'd only placed a few candles here and there, dimmed the lights and straightened out some random stuff. No bows. Phew. "So, Skipper, what's this thing you found in my habitat?" Nives' voice drifted in from outside. "Oh, a very peculiar object, I was just wondering if you could tell me wha-SLAM!" Shoving Nives in, Skipper slammed the door closed and locked it. "SKIPPER! NOT FUNNY! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Nives yelled, shoving her weight against the door. The door held fast, not even budging. Trying to muster up even a little confidence, Hans spoke up. "Ermh…Nives?" He almost squeaked. "Hans?" Nives exclaimed, turning around. Both blushed violently. "Hans, what's all this?" Nives questioned, a hint of irritation in her voice. "…Nives, we've been avoiding each other for days. I don't want everything to be so cold, so…So like this, between us!" Hans tried to explain. "Hans, we…We were about to…" Nives trailed off, not wanting to say the words out loud. "I know, I know, but…I feel really bad." Hans tried going with the truth. "Oh, _sure_. Because I expected you to go along with your life as if nothing had happened. It's as hard for you as it is for me!" Nives exploded. "Ok, so maybe the truth isn't such a great plan." Hans mentally noted himself. "Nives, what I meant wa-" Nives turned around at him, glaring. "Was _what_? No, seriously, _what_? That you've been nursing secret feelings for me and this situation was all a big mess-up created to tell me and make me fall for you?!" Nives hissed dangerously. Hans gulped as he realized how close to the truth she was.

"This _SO_ does not sound like what happened between me and Marlene…" Skipper muttered, banging his head on the wall next to the door (I'm sorry, but I _HAD _to do that X3!).

"And what if I said yes?!" Hans shot back, anger welling up inside of him. "Yes? HOW COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY FIND THEMSELVES IN THE SITUATION OF SAYING YES?" Nives screamed, facing Hans with rage clearly showing on her face. "IT'S POSSIBLE, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHUT UP!" Hans countered, stepping forwards so that their faces were mere centimetres apart. "How would you know!?" Nives questioned, irate. "I _know_, because _I_ am in the situation!" Hans hissed. "BU-Wait, you love me?" Nives stopped herself, eyes widening. "And even if? What would you care about it?" Hans tried to cover up his error. They glared at each other in silence for a few seconds, evaluating what to do next. Hans could see Nives straining, and also viceversa. He could see the pain in her eyes, the inner turmoil. Both couldn't take it anymore. Embracing each other, their beaks locked in a passionate kiss. Tilting her head upwards slightly, Nives wrapped her flippers around his neck, deepening the kiss. Breaking away, he rested his head on hers, both panting slightly. Softly nuzzling his cheek, Nives closed her eyes, smiling sweetly. "Nives…I love you so much…" Hans whispered, stroking her hair. Looking up into his beautiful hazel eyes, Nives briefly kissed him again. "I love you too, Hans." She murmured, snuggling up against his soft chest and letting his flippers wrap around her. Everything was just…They way it should be. Perfect.

A/N: Not over yet! I must admit I got down to the fluff a little hurriedly, but I wanted to move onto the next phase.


End file.
